


Alone

by Mistery



Category: Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Betrayal, Clint Needs a Hug, Depression, Heavy Angst, Loneliness, Mind-Fuck, Multi, Other, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, even if it was wrong, guilty everyone, oh bruce, oh clint, seriously guys clint tried to help, so does lucky, tony beeing an dick, very wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 15:46:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8719576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistery/pseuds/Mistery
Summary: After Hawkeye killed Bruce, the Team abandoned him entirely. While they try to move on, they learn that Clint mysteriously disappeared, most likely been Captured. And then Bruce reappearance makes them realize that everything is not as it seems. Team Whump Fic, Character Death?! Torture, Depression, Aftermath of Torture ... head the Tags. X!!Open for adaption!!X





	1. Chapter 1

Warning - Heavy Angst and Depression

He was hiding himself in the Shadows of the Street, keeping his hoodie closely above his head while he passed through the streets. It was almost Midnight and no one even notice him. At day he couldn't travel. Some People would point at him and say "look, that's the one that killed the Hulk," and some might cherished him for what he had done, others would switch a knife at him and threaten to kill him. Calling him Traitor and Bastard for killing a Hero, more likely his Friend. His Emotions where cut off, had been since that day. He mostly felt numb, everything he did seemed pointless. He felt like he was a waste of air, didn't know what kept him going. Forward, Just look forward, he heard his former mentor Trickshot in his ear. He had no one to turn to. Even Katie ignored his Phone calls, every look he received from his former Friends where full of hatered.  
All he had was himself. So he had left, abandoned his Apartment in New York, only took his pocked, his hoodie and sunglasses and left his Bow with all the arrows Tony had made in his flat. He had taken Lucky, his dog for a walk and felt Tears burn in his eyes when he suddenly stood before Katie's house. Tied Lucky's leash to an Street lamp and resisted the burning Urge, the desire to drive his Fingers into her Fur, one last time for a final goodbye. So he ignored the gentle lick at his hand, turned away from the confused hanging ears, the last eyes that looked at him in Trust. He wasn't a Hero, wasn't an Avenger.  
Should have nothing good left in this World.

Two Months earlier

He felt her eyes on him while he had faced the Law and after everything it was the worst he ever had to face. He hadn't felt relief with the acquittal of his crimes, only felt a deep loneliness in the bottom of his soul. The look he had got from Phil, the deep disappointment that was written in his face haunted him. The hateful voice of Tony, that look of anger from Steve hurt him, followed him in his Nightmares . But Natasha was the worst. Her eyes, which had looked at him once with every Trust she ever had, a gentleness of Loyalty that no one else had received from her that time in long years looked at him now as if she didn't know the man that stood in front of her. The tension was there, he could almost touch it. Then he knew, that everything he could say didn't make his Mistake, his deed undone. He turned to go. "Is that all I get from you now?" She said in a voice, too flat. He shuddered, visibly, pulling his Jacked closer. Pretended this coldness was from the wind, but she knew him to well. "You just turn away?" He stopped. His Hand flexed in his side, and he felt Tears burn in his eyes. "I can't Justify what I have done." He had said after a while and they both where silent. Then he turned around, looked in her eyes, which where full of Tears too. "Can't make this right." When She spoke again, her voice was too thick. "You can't." She took something out of her pocket, the Necklace with that Arrow symbol which had been an Christmas Present a long time ago, after she saved him from Loki's Mind-Control. "Tash, I am ... I tried to ..." His Voice died, all he had left was his ability to stand and breathe. "I am Sorry." She threw the Necklace at his feet and turned sharply away. "I am sorry too. But I'll never forgive you for this." She said, her Features dangerous where quite deadly. "Others might forget sometime that you killed Bruce. Some People might forgive you. But if I see you at the Tower ever again," She stopped and gathered herself, her voice shakes with every word. "I'll Kill you." Then She left, walked away. Left him alone in the rain that started to fall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint know what he does is pointless and is on the verge of suicide, but then recieves an unexpected visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, Suicidal thoughts and Depression, Angst.

Canada. His only hiding spot. He left the Plane with an plan in his head. His armor of Ronin was lying in a Safe at the Airport. That could offer him some peace. Fighting one last time in blind sight for Justice. A chance to save one or two lives maybe. All he wanted was to get the opportunity to make his death somehow worth it. Taking a trip to current civilian wars, throwing himself into a battle and waiting until a Grenade would hit him and ripped him into pieces. His mind was strangely focused now, not having any other feelings left any more. He remembered Phil and Natasha and these memories pained him, but that pain was dulled somehow. Like an loved Memory of somebody that died, he was strangely happy but felt mourning at his memories. Clint got the Keys for his Van and had the direction for a nearby motel. He got into the Car, switched a CD with Phils favorite music and turned the music so loud that his hearing eyes couldn't keep up with it and heard blurred voices and tones instead of music. After a time of driving his agent senses where ringing when he noticed a motorcycle following him behind his car, and even when he tried to get rid of him that guy still catched up with him somehow. Then he saw that man snatched a gun and felt a rush of pain as a bullet hit his shoulder. He lost control of the wheel. There where a few seconds of silence before his car came to an haltering crash. He felt the impact instantly and banged his head against the dashboard, thought he would pass out. When the door of the Van was ripped open he couldn't Trust his eyes and almost would have laughed at the irony. Of all the people who wanted to kill him by Now, he saw Barney, his brother. A mocking smile was on his blurred face. Clint thought he heard him say "Hey there Little brother, did ya miss me?" and then everything went black.  
Same time, elsewhere  
Natasha knelt at Bruces Grave and felt the Soft drops of water on her hair, running down her cheek and mingled with her Tears. Her fingers trailed above the Stone, above the roses which started to grow in the Earth. She spend a lot of time here lately, with his body a few meters apart from her but also miles away. There was nothing to mend her pain. She mostly felt numb, betrayed and painfully vulnerable like a Child. A few Years ago She would have ran away everywhere with Bruce if they only could have been together. But he disagreed and left her alone, left somewhere at a farm. He Experimented on himself alone in a makeshift lab, despite the horrors he went through. They talked in the Yard to him. He was Yelling at Tony when they finally found him. Became Angered and Furious and then that Arrow - that one blasted Arrow - flew past by her, right through Bruce. She didn't understand, felt speechless, moments tickling by and needed to realize what was happening around her, because next she knew was Clint being led by Guards into the Quinjet, Tony jelling at him in fury.   
Then She understood, a little, what was happening. Her hands where bleeding because she dragged thorns of a rose in her hand. She could, nor would Clint ever forgive for this.  
Sometime later She saw Phil next to her. He had an unreadable expression on his face. They where both silent for a minute, then he reached for her Hand. She pulled away, ripped those thorns out of her skin herself. A swift pain, barley noticeable in her Hand. He reached for her chin and turned his face so she looked at him. "I know how you are feeling." She would have scoffed at him, but hadn't had the energy. "You don't." She said in a flat voice. She lost Bruce but also had lost her Friend, - best Friend. Couldn't be in the most trusting state right know, "I know that you are in Pain. I would like to help you." Phil candled her hand in his. "I am sorry Natasha." She was still while She let him clean the blood from her hand. "I lost him too." Phil finished. Natasha looked up and meet his eyes. Sadness, pain and sorrow where written there and she realized that Phil was also in Pain. The long years of an Relationship crumbled before his feet. She let him hug her, tried to remind herself that Phil had nothing to do with this. "I don't understand why he did it." Phil was warm, so solid. Still there after being broken down. "I think he tried to protect you." Phil said after a time. "But there wasn't a reason, he was still Bruce, hadn't changed." Her voice thin, her hand shaking in fury. "I know." Phil said. She knew what he was thinking. What Clint had said to the Law, that he had a better vision than the most, that Bruces eyes had flickered green. She stood right next to Bruce and had seen him angered, but also noticed the green change in his eyes. For the split of an second when he turned away from her.  
"It wasn't necessary. Tony was there. He had his armour and also had Steve, and Wanda could have calmed his mind down." She felt Phils nod of his head. He didn't Understand Clints reasons for his actions. They both couldn't understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comic is a mix up, haven't got much knowledge about Captain Marvel, She-Hulk bla bla. So... yep its a Comic crossover.  
> Also its late and i don´t know how many Grammar mistakes i missed. If somethings bothering you about the Writing style, feel free to pm me. 
> 
> So thanks for all the kudos! You guys rock.


	3. Chapter 3

““You know that you need to stop that.” Tony tried to ignore her. He tried that a lot this past days. “Locking yourself up in your office will not change things.” He snorted. “You mean that they needed to remove the “Avengers” title from the tower?” And yes. Because they weren’t a team any more. Natasha was in Russia on an undercover Shield mission. Steve was gone to and Tony had no Idea where off. Since their argument they hadn´t seen each other and Barton,… he clenched his glass without noticing it. “I mean the drinking. You need to stop it.” That was where she was going off to. “I only drink a few times a week Pepper, no need to worry besides.” He gestured towards her.”You should actually finish that plans to reconstruct the Training room. Hadn´t you always wanted a pool a ´la Croft Manor in your house?” Her lips where set into a grim line. No, she wasn´t in an good mood.” AVAVAVAVAV "What do you want from me?" He asked his brother in a slurred voice. Damned, Barney must have drugged him. He felt tired and unfocused, his vision saw things wheezy when he moved to fast. He cleared his voice. How could he always manage to get himself into this position? Phil would probably laugh at him later for this – god, Phil. He remembered and wished he could have stayed a little more under the drugs influence. “You know, since you are suddenly the most wanted avenger on earth-“ He felt hot rage in his veins and he fought against the restraints – “I came here to make you an offer.” Clint grunted. Loki’s arrogance seemed to be heavier than than last toe. “You know that you aren’t in the position to make demands, so I’ll let you know what happens next. You´re either going to help me properly this time or-“He felt a kick in his rips and cursed Barney under his breath “Or we going to have it like last time.” The sceptre glowed blue in front of him and Clint flinched. He shouldn´t be afraid now, when he had nothing to lose. A few months earlier he had a boyfriend, a best friend and a team to back him up. Now he has less then nothing. So he put his first frantic thoughts which were screaming at him Not again, please not again aside. “What do you need my help for?” Clint grunted. “Again that ruling over the world thing? Aren´t you getting a little to old for that shit?” Another kick and he coughed, found it hard to catch his breath. “I see you are a little less comparative as last time. We´ll have it your way then.” He wanted to crawl away from the sceptre but his brother held him in place. His mind was heavy with betrayal. “You are going to help me so much, little hawk.” An ice cold pain freeze his body again. He remembered their Faces again. Phil`s, Natasha’s and Steve’s ice cold stare, Tony’s blind fury at the court … Then there was nothing AVAVAVAVAV There was first the rain on his face. Then a slap on his cheek. A female voice in a Language he didn´t recognized at first. “Geht es Ihnen gut, Junger Herr?* ” German he thought. Definitely German. He tried to remember the words he had learned ages ago. “Ja, Danke.**” He gulped. “Darf ich ihr Telefon benutzen?***” The woman nodded and handed him his phone. “Dankeschön.****” She smiled. He tried to remember numbers, his mind seemed to be blank. “Stark Tower, you are speaking with Virgina Potts. How can I help you?” Right, Peppers number it was. “Hi, pepper.” He heard her taking in a sharp breath. “Bruce?”   AVAVAVAVAV Translations *Are you feeling alright, boy? **Yes, Thank you *** May I use your phone? **** Thank you.


	4. Chapter 4

"Is this supposed to be a Joke?" She asked with a sharp edge on her voice. “I'm not joking." He tried to be clam but hell this had been a rough week with everything, and now ... Clint disappeared. "Natasha, i need your help." She scoffed, He knew he hadn't expected nothing much but after everyone turned his back on Clint - even himself - he hadn't many people to turn to. "I'm not surprised if he would disappear for the next months after what he did. He should better be. You are overreacting Phil. "He did not to flinch at her words and remembered how he had seen Clint the last time before his Trial - that haunted look with guilty lines drawn all over his face - and how much he wanted to hug and kiss him, but still ... he had killed Bruce, a good friend. That wasn't easy to forgive. “ Katie that alarmed me this morning was code red, means that he is in trouble Natasha.” She didn't care. He swallowed and felt anger rising up in his gut. "Why are you so egoistic? Don't you think you owe him something after everything he did for you?” She abruptly stood up. “I didn't kill him.” She hissed and Phil saw the fury in her eyes, the deep hatred in them. “For killing the man I loved. I owe him nothing.This Conversation is over.” She abruptly left and slammed the door shut. Like Tony and Steve had. Hell, how much Phil wanted so much to apologize to Clint now. He should have been there for him. He grabbed for his phone and left another voicemail. 

 

"It´s refreshing that little Events can turn friends into foes, don't you think? That the humans trust can so easily be shattered in so many ways. I never meant to hurt you like that, my Hawk. But you'll see that it was necessary." A sigh as response. Sweat on his Skin. There was someone one, he forgot the name through he could see his face in his mind. "You know what I always found amusing about humans?" The voice ... sank into his mind and he had lost himself in it. It was comforting because he hadn't felt as numb as this in weeks, since it happened. “What, my lord?” The hand in his hair made him shudder. "That they can so easily be fooled." He was exposed, ripped and shredded in his being and soon he would be nothing anymore. "The team you had needed to be destroyed, you understand that right?" Fire under his skin. In a sad rhythmic with entwined bodies." Of course my lord." He answered calmly.The mattress shifted. "What are you planning to do sir?" Solider. He was a solider now. "You´ll need to attack a city for me pet. Tomorrow it begins."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun Dun o.o... short chappie there. this fic is open for adaption, ive been told my grammar isn´t perfect and i don´t know if i can keep up writing an entry work like this. So ... pm me if you are intrested :b:b Thank you so much for leaving comments, kudos etc. <3


	5. Chapter 5

Everyone thinks you're death." Nick Fury said. Bruce didn´t know how to response because he had he hadn´t expected that. "Where are you now?" she asks."I don´t know ... in Berlin I guess." A minute of silence passed. "Are you Okay?" Bruce sighs. "I don´t know how i got here ... look i need to talk to Tony, is he with you?"   
Tony was in the lab when he got the call from Pepper. He could not understand for a minute what she tried to tell him. Only that Banner was alive was enough and he forgot where his suit was and needed to ask JARVIS for it. For the whole Flight he felt that Anger rising inside him. Banner had some explaining to do.  
AVAVAVAV  
"So you don´t know what happened afterwards-"  
"The hell you´ve been Banner?" Tony said while shaking him. "What where you thinking?" Bruce was at least glad that Tony hadn't yelled at him open Street but the grim features told him that Tony was pissed. "What sort of Plan have you and Barton played out, huh? Help me here cause I don´t understand it." Now back in the Tower he was certain that he has missed something. "Wheres Natasha?" He asked and Tony laughs angrily. "Really? That´s what your wondering about?" There was again a silence and Fury slammed his Hands down on the Table. "Mr. Stark if you can´t be quiet about Five god-damn Minutes you should better leave the room." Tony laughed again and held his Hands up in defence. "You not really ordering me to leave my own-" "Enough!" Bruce said. His pulse was pumping in his ears and he knew that his Control on the big Guy was tested. "I don´t plan anything with Clint and I would also like to know what has happened ever since we saw us the last time." There was that memory of him screaming at his teammates, so suddenly that he almost flinched. Fury stared at him with blank eyes and opened his mouth to speak but Tony interrupted him. "We buried you. That's what freaking happened."  
AVAVAV  
It took him a while to pick the Photos and Videos together. Barton has killed him, so they told him. He saw himself on screen going down when Clint shot that arrow at him. "Where is he now?" He asked in an hoarse voice. That guilt ate him up ever since he saw Clint being arrested and he also could see something strange in Tonys Eyes who was leaning with Arms crossed against the Wall now. "Gone. Hell knows where. Exactly like Romanov." Nick Fury said. "Bruce tell me what happened." Bruce sighs like for the thousands time. "I asked Barton to do that." He said and knew that he caught Tony off by surprise. "He´s innocent. I gave him that arrow in Case for - me hulking out." Tony swiped a Hand over his Face and Bruce was remembering the scene where Tony was screaming and needed be stopped by Steve to get to Clint, who had looked so pale and broken. "So he wasn´t lying." He thought he heard. "You´re sure that Barton isn't kept in some underground Prison?" He asked in a low voice. "I couldn`t keep track on him since he resigned and left his GPS Chip here." Tony said, "and Rogers left the Team too by the way. Natasha is on a Mission in Russia when I heard correctly. Thor is in Asgard -" "and Coulson is on Vacation." Fury finished. His features where tense now. "You should better have a good explanation for him before i call him back. He's not in a good mood since he and Barton go Separate Ways." Banner felt anger rising up in him again. "So you all seek one to blame and you all choose that it had to be Clint? You toss him out of the Team and kick him over to the Courtroom? Damn it he might have saved lives by that shot." There was a slap on his head and he needed to keep control - because he felt it slipping and his hands cracking on the table. "We thought you´re died you stupid idiot." The Earth was Vibrating. "Fury it´s enough." Then the Windows cracked and Glass flew to the Ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a very bad Day. i would love some Comments.
> 
> It's late and I don´t know how many spelling mistakes are in there so please help me there. 
> 
> XThis is still open for adaption.X


	6. Chapter 6

She left the Train and headed towards the Tower. She knew that there was something wrong, in the Air was danger. She could sense it Miles away. Natasha almost knew that the Building three meters before it would fall with a giant explosion and She barley could save herself. Then a Part of here realized that this might have all been some kind of well made set up, a trap they all tapped into. Because they all had been Blind and no Avengers where there to prevent this from happening. AVAVAV The Ground shook and it wasn't an earthquake. One second they stared at another, then Tony spun into action. "Jarvis, Update!" Bruce was still shocked looked out of the window to see a building close to the tower fall. He felt the rage and the anger that usually used to consume him in an Instant but this time ... something was wrong. "I think this is a good time for Code green, Mr. Banner."   AVAVAV It was a good hiding Spot. No one saw this Attack coming. Sometimes he could get a glimpse of his Actions, see what he was doing and then when he saw it he wished he was death. Smoke reached his nose and he saw Fire and Corpses, innocent People being attacked by him ... and at the other side of the City by his brother. "Two Archers made of the same Blood", Barney had said. "Now you're on the right side, little Brother." How had it come to this? His Body was controlled and he was a Passenger in his own life. "How many archers are needed to destroy a country?" He heard Loki in his mind while he felt the sharpness of wood, the tension of the Bowstring in his Fingers. That tension he had the last time when he killed ... someone close. The People where screaming. It was the Pain he felt when he released the Arrow that send the Building down. It exploded and like that he felt his Control of his mind slipping ... it was like dreaming while he was awake. "If I see you at the tower ever again I'll kill you..." He heard someone hissing sharp and cold while he released the next exploding arrow. It should take him with it. Then the thing that had hold him together broke. He felt the pressure in his mind like water floating him away ... and let Loki control him once more.


End file.
